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Post by monstersfan on Oct 14, 2009 12:44:45 GMT -5
(330): When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday? (440): What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
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Post by Jarvis on Oct 16, 2009 7:31:16 GMT -5
(917): half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
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Post by Jarvis on Oct 19, 2009 8:44:03 GMT -5
(610): my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
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Post by Jarvis on Oct 19, 2009 8:44:49 GMT -5
(631): After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch (1-631): that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
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Post by Jarvis on Oct 19, 2009 8:45:14 GMT -5
(540): my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged (703): just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
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Post by Jarvis on Oct 20, 2009 10:30:43 GMT -5
I'm not sure if this is good or bad
(772): bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
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Post by Jarvis on Oct 20, 2009 10:31:13 GMT -5
(250): Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
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Post by Jarvis on Oct 20, 2009 10:33:42 GMT -5
Nothing like some habitual drug use
(546): Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
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Post by Jarvis on Oct 20, 2009 10:38:08 GMT -5
(905): Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse? (1-905): i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
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Post by monstersfan on Oct 20, 2009 15:58:18 GMT -5
(250): Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap. Haha this ones good.
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Post by Jarvis on Oct 20, 2009 17:04:11 GMT -5
(571): he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
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Post by Jarvis on Oct 21, 2009 12:23:27 GMT -5
(803): Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Best one ever.
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Post by Jarvis on Oct 26, 2009 16:43:52 GMT -5
(240): Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
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Post by cody275 on Nov 13, 2009 1:09:52 GMT -5
(972): You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
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Post by Jarvis on Nov 14, 2009 13:26:48 GMT -5
(847): so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
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